What Isn’t…
I need my heart to race
Sweat rolling down my spine
Obsession is addicting
Digressions are my binds.
Control is my Escape
For Freedom would be Rape
I need perfection.
I need Precision.
I need Exactness.
Therefore no indecision
I sabotage my dream
For I long to regret tomorrow
Anything to prove the lie
Obsessing over what isn’t.
Suck the life from loved ones
Cross boundaries to escape
Smother the ones I love
Suffocate my comfort place.
Never get enough
Never get that fill
Begging for what isn’t
Longing for that thrill.
Emptiness is consequence
The Loneliness
The Victimized
Seclusion was a choice
Never to be recognized.
Defense is my solution
Answers of all kinds
Courage not my go to
I choose failure every time.
I pray for freedom
I pray for trust
I pray for wisdom
Though beg for lust.
I pray for truth
I pray for Courage
Please God, Clarity!
All to see what isn’t;
Insincerity.
Patience seems impossible
Freedom no where near
I fester in what isn’t
I hide behind what’s real.
Vulnerability would expose me
Naked and Unrestrained
I hate what I can’t see
Mortified I would be!
Predetermined is the answer
Sameness every time
Foretelling my own future
The past of my own Mime.
Calculated to the tee
What is known can’t seep pain
Keep Smiling and be perfect
I think I live insane.
Wrapped up in what isn’t
Never looking to see what is.
